How Will I Rate These Damn Books?

Warning: I use bad words. And also this blog post was written during a time of brain fatigue, so be prepared for some stream-of-consciousness shit.

People do lists, right? I mean, I’m new to this whole reading challenge thing, but I keep seeing these lists floating around where people sum up their reading adventures over the year.

So I’m like, “Hey Clover. Maybe, you know, you should do that.”

And I’m like, “Hey bitch, you don’t fucking own me, okay?”

… Okay, maybe in the future, I’ll avoid writing blog posts when I’m half asleep. But for now, buckle up reader. Shit’s about to get weird. Except I’m too tired for weird, so let’s just talk about book lists instead.

I want this list to do two things: 1. Track the shit I read. And 2. Showcase the shit I liked without shitting on the shit I didn’t like. Since this is inherently a subjective exercise, I decided in order to provide value to would-be readers, it should have… (God, I’ve totally forgotten English. I want to say ‘well-weighted’. What does that even mean, though?) It should have a pros and cons list as impartial as a biased writerly bitch with opinions can muster.

It also needs a rating system. Or a ranking system. Or both. Or are they the same thing?

I’m thinking three simple categories.

Romance

Since I primarily read M/M romance in various genres (mostly historical, but I’d love a good m/m horror if I can find a good one) Rating their romantic aspect seems like the obvious choice. But romance doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be romantic. This will judge how captivating the dynamic is of the main character and their love interest. How steamy the chemistry, and how much I care whether they get some kinda happily ever after.

Plot

I mean, obviously I gotta rate the actual story. I’ll try to be as objective as possible with this one and explore whether the author crafted a compelling story, whether or not it was the kinda story I personally prefer. And by compelling, I mean: does it make sense, is it paced well, is it predictable if it’s meant to be mysterious, does it make my heart race if it’s meant to be thrilling?

Entertainment Factor

This is where I will get to be subjective AF! Because it’s my list, I should have at least one rating that reflects my overall opinion, as salty or gushy as it may be. This will partially be judged by the other two ratings smushed together and partially based on how easily the book infected my mind and made me want to keep coming back to it: how turny those pages be.

DNF

I still have not decided whether or not to include a list of DNFs. There’s probably no point. I don’t like to shit on other authors. I know how much hard work goes into a book, even books not up to my particular “standards”. I used to suck, but like, I worked really hard at sucking. I’m sure some of my old stories from a million years ago ended up on someone’s shit fic list. Okay, if we’re being real, my new ones definitely have.

Welp, if you made it to the end of this post without clutching your pearls, congrats! You rock. Unless you’re just hate-reading rn, in which case, maybe you still rock. I don’t know. But your rockiness is less likely because I rock, and we can’t both rock in different directions. That sounds like a good way to bonk heads.

Oh! I also wanted to say something about how much I love organizing shit so I’ll probably be over-thinking this whole process, but I feel like this post is over now and I’m moving on so I can’t be arsed to find somewhere to squeeze it in…

Okay, bye.


Sam Clover is an author of some bat monster thingy… God, I’m tired.


It took me three tries to type ‘blog’.

An Erotica Writing Circle

My first big event on the server since my return was a summer story collection (It’s still ongoing, btw). And being a moderate success, and having so many people show interest in having a critique circle again, it feels like the right time to buckle down and get organized for one. … More An Erotica Writing Circle

Playing Around

Oh my, I have been quiet, haven’t I? At least here on my site. (I have been noisy AF on Discord as per usual.) So here’s a bit of an update! Of course there’s the writing. I wrote up a storm a couple months ago. Got a WIP to 50k, and then sorta petered out. … More Playing Around


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